Ask Dr B – about Mindfulness, Self-Reflection & Executive Function - 034
Aug 17, 2017Welcome to the fourteenth Ask Dr B episode, and the thirty-second episode overall of Harness Your ADHD Power, a podcast show I created to explore the many facets of adult life with ADHD and how you can learn to harness your personal ADHD power to become unstoppable.
I’m so glad you could join me today for my podcast show. We’ve got a tighter format, great topics and clear steps to take starting today, so let’s get to it.
I’m going to be addressing three inter-related topics today to help you see the path from fuzzy to focused on becoming the successful adult living with ADHD you deserve to be. It’s definitely a journey, one that’s unique for each person.
And if you’re on this journey, I applaud you for your courage straight away. Truly! It definitely takes courage and a lot of what I’m going to be talking about today to rise up and become the person you were intended to become. And it’s worth every bit of the time, effort and energy it takes!
I want you to have the life you want for yourself as much as any other person can want something for another. I feel it’s your birthright to have a good life and to be happy, and just because you didn’t have that in the first half of your life doesn’t mean you don’t get to have it in the second half; it just doesn’t.
And since I’m going to be talking about Executive Function and ADHD, if you need to learn and master some of these skills, then so be it. The time is going to pass in your life whether you learn them now, learn them later or never learn them. Funny thing about time, it’s indifferent to the choices and decisions we make.
In this episode, I respond to topics about issues or challenges you experience as an adult living with ADHD, and offer you hope. Today's topics are about Mindfulness, Self-Regulation & Executive Function.
And remember to pay attention to your WINS!! Look for them, acknowledge them, celebrate them in a full-hearted way! Exaggerate your emotions and feel the rush of excitement of having done something special and worthy of celebrating. You can even celebrate YOU!
Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and newfound freedom in your life!
My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses. And, you don't need a formal diagnosis to know you need help developing these executive function skills in order to greatly reduce your suffering.
Full Episode Transcript
HYAP Podcast Episode #036
Ask Dr B – about Differences Between ADHD & Executive Function (EF), EF Skills & EF Mastery
Thursday, August 24, 2017
Today is Episode 36 with Dr B, and the sixteenth “Ask Dr B” Show.
Hey ADDers! I’m so glad you could join me today. We’ve got a tighter format, great topics and clear steps to take starting today, so let’s get to it.
I’ve been pretty hyperfocused lately on Executive Function overall and specifically the skills that need to develop, if they didn’t back in childhood moving forward. Whether you learned them back in childhood or will be learning them now, the point is, you need to learn them because they are the basis for all of what allows us to be successful adults. No lie here!
So today’s episode is going to be all about the questions I’ve been getting recently about Executive Function; what it is, how come no one told me about it when I got my diagnosis of ADHD, how come no body told me I needed to develop these skills so that I could succeed in my life, and so on.
What I see has been having over the years is that many of us have received a diagnosis of ADHD, whether it’s primarily inattentive, hyperactive, impulsive or a combination package of all three. Some of us have opted to include medication as part of our “treatment plan” and others have not. Some of us have opted to include rigorous exercise, good nutrition, a solid sleep routine and so on, as part of our “treatment plan.” But nowhere in all of this have I heard of adults knowing that they also had a decision to make of whether or not they were going to include the development and/or mastery of their Executive Function Skills. This is not even a conversation that adults I know have had, unless of course they are in my ADDventures in Achievement program, in which case, this is definitely what we are focusing on because every student in the program needs to up their Executive Function skillsets.
So, based on what I’ve been seeing, I trust that you also need to up your Executive Function skillsets and this may be the first time you are even hearing about this. And if so, I’m so glad you are here today and getting this information.
There are specific ways of teaching, learning, practicing and mastering these Executive Function skills based on how they are taught starting in childhood. I have adapted what I’ve learned about how kids learn these for how we adults can learn these too. I’ve taught many of them to myself over the years and am bringing more of them up to speed currently. I’ve found that one of the greatest ways to learn them is through “play.” In fact, there’s a great deal of research about “play” and how effective it is for learning. One of the first books I started with is entitled Play by Stuart Brown, M.D., who is the founder of the National Institute for Play.
And what do those with ADHD and/or Executive Function deficits what you all to know, if you don’t have their type of brain? That ADHD is real! Truly!! Doesn’t seem like a lot to ask that others believe that something that someone is trying struggling with is real and not made up. How very rude in fact; it’s disrespectful and kind of saying that the person is lying and just making up excuses for how things turn out time and time again. Rubbish!!
Just because the DSM-V and every other version of that book doesn’t see fit to assign a separate diagnostic code for adult ADHD, doesn’t make it less real. In fact, I just read recently that the DSM follows trends; it doesn’t lead them and set them. Very interesting. So I guess until the world believes that adult ADHD is real, then the DSM-V won’t see fit to give us an adult ADHD code that “proves” it’s a real diagnosis with a “real code.” Such a sad state of affairs. Enough of that soapbox stuff….
I’m going to be addressing three inter-related topics today to help you see the path from fuzzy to focused on becoming the successful adult living with ADHD you deserve to be. It’s definitely a journey, one that’s unique for each person.
And if you’re on this journey, I applaud you for your courage straight away. Truly! It definitely takes courage and a lot of what I’m going to be talking about today to rise up and become the person you were intended to become. And it’s worth every bit of the time, effort and energy it takes!
I want you to have the life you want for yourself as much as any other person can want something for another. I feel it’s your birthright to have a good life and to be happy, and just because you didn’t have that in the first half of your life doesn’t mean you don’t get to have it in the second half; it just doesn’t.
And since I’m going to be talking about Executive Function and ADHD, if you need to learn and master some of these skills, then so be it. The time is going to pass in your life whether you learn them now, learn them later or never learn them. Funny thing about time, it’s indifferent to the choices and decisions we make.
Shifting gears for a moment since this is an Ask Dr B episode…
Do you know you have questions but you don’t even know where to begin or what to ask? Let me help. Whatever you send me doesn’t have to be in perfect sentences or make sense to others. I am pretty good at making sense out of a lot of things that people send me and when I can’t, I write back and ask clarifying questions so I can be clear on what is being asked. Whatever is troubling you, ask me. You’ll be doing me a big favor by sending me your questions. Seriously!!
Wondering how you can ask me? Just click the link in the episode description on your mobile device or on my website where it says “Ask Dr B” and ask away. I’ll be notified immediately and get to work on answers for you right away. You can also Ask Dr B every Monday at 5 pm Pacific time when I go live in the community group for Q & A. Love to see you there!
I learned years ago that I love directing my time, effort and energy to the solutions you need. It’s one of the reasons I created The Harness Your ADHD Power Community on Facebook. That community space is a place for us to learn about and from each other, as well as for me to learn more about what you all need. I’d love to get to know you all in that space. So please friend me on Facebook and then come and join the community! I’ve decided to go live at 5 on Mondays in the community group, to answers questions you have as well as offer a short teaching on a topic of interest or need. The first live video was this past Monday. I hope more of you will be able to join me live on Mondays in the group. There will be a new post each week reminding you that I’m going live. You can even post your questions under that post in case you can’t make it live but need answers. I’ll answer your questions when I go live.
I have had so many questions throughout my lifetime; still do. I think people got tired of all my questions when I was a kid growing up. I know I never get tired of other people’s questions because your questions matter to you, and so they matter to me. If you’re anything like me and you don’t get the information and the answers that you need so you can do what you have in mind, how are you supposed to move forward in your life and get things done? And then when people get upset at you because you aren’t getting things done and you tell them that you have questions that haven’t been answered yet and you need that information so you can get the things done, do they give you the information or do they just walk away? It’s heart breaking. We need what we need to do what needs doing and that’s just how it is! Period.
Whether this is your first or thirty-fourth time of listening to my show, you’ll hear me say time and again, that you are NOT what you do or don’t do; that you are more than that. WE are not defective or less than as people – as human beings; we’re just wired differently and the difference is actually pretty cool once you have answers to your questions, know what you need to do and how to do it, and have the best tools for you to get it done, with the least amount of stress. It’s my hope that you’ll get some of what you need here.
And remember, I’m a work in progress, just like you. Every time something changes in my life, I need to learn something new; a new way of handling the situations that arise. That requires the mental agility to shifts gears as well as the ability to regulate myself so I don’t get overwhelmed. These are both executive function skills.
Shifting gears again…
I absolutely love my world map, with the little flags marking all the countries and states where you all are listening. It’s so cool! I want to acknowledge and welcome new listeners in Egypt, Finland, France and Spain, as well as any other new listeners. It’s so exciting to know that we are not alone in our concerns no matter where we are in the world. Thank you for listening and relating to the challenges and stories and solutions. You are truly a blessing to me, and your presence in my life is beyond anything I’d every imagined.
Before I get to today’s questions and answers, I have a question for you; and you’ve heard it before if you’re a regular listener. It’s about your state of mind and your WINS. I will continue to ask you about your WINS and encourage you to acknowledge and celebrate them every day! I encourage you to “really look” for your WINS, and then acknowledge and celebrate all of them, because every WIN you celebrate on the road to your goals will serve to encourage you, lift your spirits, create a “can do” mindset that will lead you to more and more WINS. Plus tracking them will show you the path of your successes, which is wonderful to see! It’s easy to forget how it was once it gets better; it just happens that way. We tend to live in the moment.
Please don't be the person that continues to tell yourself that it’s pointless to reward yourself for what you’re ‘supposed to do.’ That these things are just the “thankless little tasks of life.” NO!! That couldn’t be further from the truth!! Those are the very things that deserve and need to be celebrated so it becomes easier to do them consistently and more enjoyably each and every time.
So, what’s it going to be for you today? Maybe you learned something new about yourself that surprised you; that’s a WIN. Perhaps you got an answer to a question that’s been nagging at you for weeks; that’s a WIN. Maybe you forgave yourself for all the things you’ve done to hurt yourself and others and wiped the slate clean; that’s certainly a WIN. You get the point; celebrate all of them. And none of this “half-hearted celebrating”; mean it. Exaggerate your emotions. YES!!!! WOW!! AWESOME!! And, certainly celebrate the big WINS too; it’s just that they happen less often and so celebrating daily WINS makes a difference faster in your life because of the frequency.
Shifting gears again…
Today’s episode is all about answering the questions you have about issues or challenges you experience as an adult living with ADHD, and offering you hope. How much time do we have? Not much. So let’s get to it.
Thanks to you, my listeners and group members, for today’s 3 topics and questions:
1. Mindfulness
2. Self-Reflection
3. The inter-connectedness between ADHD and Executive Function
Now back to being an adult with ADHD in today’s world.
Whatever the reasons are that you didn’t learn critical skills or get the information you need to be competent and feel confident, you can learn them now.
Today’s topics are an assortment of questions that have been asked of me over the years that I’ve grouped into these 3 topic categories, and if you find that you can’t take action on what I suggest, no worries. You will just need to start a little further back with whatever pre-skills or pre-steps you need first and then step up to what I have suggested today; it doesn’t say anything bad about you. It only says that you are missing some skills that you can learn. I hope at least one of these topics or questions will resonate with you and be of benefit. So let’s keep going.
I’ll start with Mindfulness & ADHD and some of the questions I’ve been asked over the years:
· Meditation is promoted for us, though of course challenging for those of us with ADHD to sit still. Is there a best meditation practice or way?
o The best way to practice meditation is to find the road to mindfulness that suits you best. Mindful meditation can be while you sit still and follow your breath, while you walk and observe and reflect, while you hyper-focus on something of value to you. It is not necessary to sit and meditate. There are programs, research studies and such that indicate it is very promising for adults with ADHD to meditate. UCLA created their program years ago that is an 8-week program for mindfulness with ADHD.
· How does mindfulness training change the ADHD brain or symptoms?
o Yes. Instead of following the distracted mind, which is an inconsistent mind, you follow a mind that is consistent and steady. This promotes a peacefulness and calm. Thoughts in the mind of an adult with ADHD can be very random in nature. This thought begets the next and the next and so on. You know what I’m talking about. There is no discipline or structure or system to this style of thinking, other than it’s the ADHD way. However, thinking in a more structured manner brings huge benefits.
· Can these changes become lasting once the mindfulness activity has ceased, or are the changes only short-term?
o The changes are not short-term if the mindfulness training was practiced long enough to imbed the pattern of thinking and behaving in this manner. I have not had a formal mindfulness practice for years and yet I can drop into that state of mind easily still. Many people need to continue to “practice” this type of thinking and way of being though, just the same as exercising and other self-care routines. The benefits would typically last longer than just changing back the first day you don’t practice mindfulness. However, it’s easy to not be mindful and takes practice to be mindful, so maintaining a practice is the best way to keep the benefits and continue to gain new ones. You just make it part of your lifestyle and daily self-care routine. Linking it to something that you do on a daily basis with ease is a great way to be consistent.
· Can you provide examples of whether ADHD lends itself to mindfulness?
o Most adults with ADHD are not naturally mindful. They are often distracted, moving in a mindless, robotic manner and not taking in all the information or even the full situation in order to respond appropriately. Mindfulness is the basis of training the mind to respond in a particular way. It’s a way to shape the behavior of your mind; train your mind to do what you want it to, when you want it to. The inability of many with adult ADHD to focus their mind when and where they need and want their mind to go is a huge problem. You might know what to do and when to do it, but getting yourself to actually do it when and where it is needed is an entirely different situation. Mindfulness training is a good solution to this problem. We all need to be mindful in our day-to-day interactions rather than functioning on autopilot and missing a lot of important information and situations. A study at UCLA years ago involving Dr. Susan Smalley, Ph.D. and Dr. Lidia Zylowska, M.D. was conducted, studying the impact of Mindfulness training for adults. I was involved on the periphery as the then chapter coordinator for the SFV CHADD Chapter. I experienced this program and found it to be beneficial. Dr. Lidia Zylowska has since published a book on this method entitled “The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD.”
· I hope what I’ve shared helps you to understand more about Mindfulness and ADHD and how it might be of benefit to you.
Transitioning to our next set of questions on the topic of Self-Reflection.
· “I’d like to know more about how having ADHD affects our awareness of ourselves; kind of like how you mentioned at a meeting that often ADDers don’t have a good outside concept of “self.”
o Very simply put, the conscious mind is the thinking part of the mind. It thinks about what it is experiencing physically in one's body, in the environment, etc. The subconscious mind is the autopilot part of the mind. It is the storage space of all things outside of the present moment. All the beliefs we hold about our SELF, about life, about anything are stored in the subconscious part of the mind. We continue to reinforce whatever is stored in the subconscious mind by our day-to-day experiences and beliefs. When something new is introduced to our subconscious mind, there is kind of a "guard" at the doorway to our mind that receives the information and decides whether or not to let the new information in. The "guard" lets the information in if there is similar information already stored there; by association the information matches and gains entrance. If the "guard" receives information that is not already stored in the subconscious and is not congruent with what is already there, then the "guard" will reject the information as not relevant to your mind and wellbeing. In order to make changes in the storehouse in the subconscious mind, we need to gently move aside the "guard" so we can enter the space and make some changes. We gain access through mindfulness, meditation, self or autohypnosis; whatever methods or techniques that allow you to go inside yourself and reflect. I feel it is very important to be cautious when entering this realm of the mind. You need to leave judgment outside. You need to enter mindfully with the intention of seeing what's stored there first, and nothing more. This is the first step in making changes at this level. Honesty with you is very important here. Whatever you learn you need to make note of and bring back with you to work with. When you go to this realm, it is with the intention to do no harm; rather to revise and heal misinformation or misinterpretations of information.
· “How do I stop past negative beliefs and patterns from sabotaging my efforts now and in the future to change or improve my life?”
o This is a huge piece of work and often requires working with a trained professional to make sure things work out the way you intend. Being open-minded and willing to embrace new beliefs is a good place to start. Without the open-mindedness and willingness, there will most likely be resistance. There is a neurolinguistic psychology or NLP walking belief change process that is useful for this purpose. There is also another NLP process of future self, past self and others speaking to current self and helping to guide current self-forward in a good way. There is also the need to change beliefs that are held in the subconscious part of the mind and replace them with the beliefs that you want instead. Also, if there are behaviors that you are engaged in that are incongruent with the new beliefs that you want to hold and the new life that you want to have, then you will not be able to achieve it because of this incongruence. You need to inventory your life and see where you are and are not living according to the values and beliefs that you aspire to, and what you need to eliminate from your life. Yes, it is currently serving a purpose, and that purpose is from your previous or "old life," not the one you want to build. Every thought has to be questioned as you think it. Not all thoughts we have should be believed simply because we have them. If the thought does not serve you, you have to challenge the thought and shift it through challenging it. I like to challenge my thoughts by playing a game of imagining I am in court and this is the case that I am bringing against myself. What is my evidence? How am I interpreting the evidence? Are there other ways to interpret the evidence? What conclusions have I come to and what have I sentenced myself to as a result of my conclusions with my current thinking?
· Sometimes I can’t figure out where to begin or how to establish a plan. In those moments, I used to feel like I was almost unconscious or in a daze. Now I feel more aware of my indecision even if I’m not sure how to remedy it. What steps can I take now that I’m becoming aware of being stuck?
o Picking up with the last question and answer, awareness is the first step. Now that you are aware that you don't know where to begin or how to establish a plan on the topics or issues you feel this way about, is there something in your life that you do not experience this difficulty with? In other words, if you are faced with something for work, does this happen? If you are faced with a career decision, does this happen? Where in your life does this paralysis happen and where does it not happen? This is the second step. By looking at places in your life where this does not happen, you can learn about your ability to begin a process and make decisions. Then by looking at those areas of your life where you cannot make decisions and don't know where to begin or make a plan, how are those areas or situations different? Also, when you think of making a plan, what do you think of? What does making a plan mean to you? Does it have all the steps, all the possible pitfalls, and all the possible good outcomes? If this is what a plan means to you, it may not be possible to make such a plan. It may be possible to make a plan for what you do know and from there, imagine what might come next. You might need to learn what a plan actually is by having someone show you how they would plan what you are trying to plan so you can learn directly, in a hands-on manner.
· How does being more “conscious” of one’s self and one’s story help someone to stay motivated and aware of progress?
o You can only work with and heal what is real and known. Being willing to know yourself intimately (in to me you see) is important. Self-deception is not helpful to healing. Making meaning of something as being less than what is true is not helpful to healing. Seeing things for what they are, no more and no less, is what is needed to facilitate healing. Motivation is having a good enough reason to take action in the direction that you want to move. Without a good enough reason, you have no beginning.
· If there are so few professionals who are really trained to support people with ADHD, how do I know whom to trust (and invest time and money to work with them)?
o You need to ask clarifying questions before you make your decision of who to trust and invest time and money with. Since there is no required coursework in the licensure track for LMFT, LCSW, LEP or perhaps not even with psychologist and other professions, in order to get your needs met, you need to ask and know that the professional you might be selecting has taken the time to seek out specialized training about adults with ADHD and considers themselves to be an expert or well qualified to serve this population. Without asking lots of questions and assessing the answers you get, you cannot hope to get what you are seeking. Too many professionals feel that they can help those with adult ADHD with absolutely no training or understanding of the configuration of the ADHD mind. They seem to think that they will just be able to apply what they know about situations to those with adult ADHD and that it will work the same. This is the first big red flag that they don't know what they are talking about and are the wrong person for the job.
· The bottom line is that adults with ADHD typically don’t spend time in mindfulness thinking or self-reflection, and so they end up missing a lot of very important information about themselves that is necessary to their own healing and transformation. It takes slowing down, patience and compassion for self, while self-reflecting and learning about yourself, being a student of your own life so to speak to gather the insights and knowledge to make a difference moving forward. I hope what I’ve shared helps you to understand more the different aspects of your mind, how they function and what is needed for greater self-reflection.
Transitioning to our next topic, which is the inter-connectedness between ADHD and Executive Function
· As I’ve said before, most all with ADHD have Executive Function Skill deficits, and there are many others of you who do not have ADHD but have these executive function deficits and they are derailing your life. So either “life” will make you stop and have to address them or you will be proactive and choose to do so before a crisis hits. I will do whatever I can to help.
· What is the difference between ADHD and Executive Function?
o According to all I’ve read recently, ADHD is the 3 core symptoms of being inattentive, hyperactive and/or impulsive; that’s it.
o Executive Function has to do with skills that we all need to learn, practice and master, whether we have ADHD or not. These are skills that we are born capable of learning but we don’t come pre-wired with these skills.
· What is your opinion on the current school structure of sitting for most of the day with frontal teaching rather than experiential learning?
o I know there are schools now that are more progressive in how they teach the kids, many with the scaffold learning that is needed for the learning of executive function skills, but for the most part, schools aren’t progressive and are educating in a very non-effective manner. Whether it’s the size of the classes or the training that the teachers have gotten that is the issue, the end result is that students are engaged for the most part and aren’t learning the foundational skills they need to master in order to learn the more advanced skills. The students are not being given a hands-on experience to do something other than listen to a teacher who might or might not be all that interesting to listen to. It seems that the students are being set up to fail more than to succeed. We humans like to be entertained and we love stories. We remember stories. Why not structure education to play to the strengths of all humans according to learning theory rather than need to single out certain students because they can’t learn the way that some students can just because those students can tolerate the non-experiential way they are being taught?
· I understand that foresight is an executive function skill and I know that I am very weak when it comes to having foresight. What are the characteristics of having foresight? How can we utilize this “skill” toward being successful in planning, problem solving, and critical thinking?
o Foresight is running scenarios in your mind or on paper of what lies ahead in any given situation; possibilities in a positive way or catastrophes in a negative way. Foresight is the ability to predict what will happen or be needed in the future; knowledge or insights are gained by looking forward; taking a look at or view of the future. A person can gain a sense of foresight through current knowledge, past experiences with similar situations, or simply through intuition.
o ADHD symptoms of inattentiveness, hyperactivity or impulsivity might get in the way of someone’s clarity of thinking and having foresight, however, the actual skill of foresight isn’t not about ADHD; it’s about Executive Function Skills or deficits.
· From Merle Switzer comes 6 steps for gaining strategic foresight in business that I’ve adapted for personal
o Framing: identifying the focus or underlying issue. We have many issues in life but not all of them are the leverage points to make significant differences; we need to identify those.
o Scanning: is the process of looking internally and externally to identify what’s on the horizon that may impact your life.
o Forecasting: holding pictures in your mind of what the future may hold – 3 categories are talked about: possible, probable and preferred.
o Visioning: deciding the preferred future for your life and making sure you stay focused on it.
o Planning: whatever you need to do to close the gap between where you are and where you prefer to be
o Acting: this is where you implement or follow through on the plan.
o And clearly there are many other Executive Function skills that could be pre-skills or pre-requisites to these 6 skills in order to be successful with these.
· I love this quote by John M. Richardson, Jr. – “When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.” There is also a fourth – “Those who resist it happening.” It’s important to identify your mindset before you embark on this journey.
· I hope what I’ve shared helps you to understand the inter-relatedness of ADHD and Executive Function skills more clearly and determine where your challenges are and what steps you need to take to help yourself.
That’s it for our 3 topics today. I want to thank my listeners and group members again for these topics for the Ask Dr B format.
A Favorite Quote:
George Sheehan, physician, athlete and author said, “Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” The question I have for you at this point of our journey together is “Are you ready to start becoming the person you were meant to be today? And if not today, when?”
Whether you’re learning from my podcast episodes or live videos or part of the new community group on FB or working with me directly in my innovative online program or 1:1, I’m here to serve your needs, and it’s an honor to accompany you on your journey and make a difference in the quality of your life.
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So that’s about it for today. If you want to participate in the survey, ask me a question for a podcast episode or live video, get your free resources, receive periodic updates on new happenings with Dr B, find out more or enroll in ADDventures in Achievement or just download your Show Notes, you can do all of that on my website, as well as learn about other resources and services, that is…if that’s of interest to you. Thanks for listening… Until the next time… Bye for now…
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Let's put an end to the worldwide needless suffering together! We can do this!
