You Don’t Need a Diagnosis or Medication to Get Results - 116
Mar 14, 2023I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what is commonly believed to be the process we adults need to go through if we suspect ADHD. That process takes time and money. And depending on what part of the world you live in, your access to a specialist may be limited. For that reason or others, many adults are self-diagnosing these days. Some are questioning what having an official diagnosis will give them that a self-diagnosis won’t.
The answer to that question is simple – potentially a lot of valuable information beyond just ADHD since by the time you are an adult, ADHD typically doesn’t occur by itself. There could be depression, anxiety, codependency, addictions, learning differences or challenges, Irlen syndrome, underdeveloped executive function skills, sensory challenges and more. Medication may be appropriate for some of these additional conditions as well as for ADHD if the main ADHD challenges are inattention, hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. If the main challenges are executive function skill challenges due to underdevelopment, I haven’t seen medication alone be the answer without EF skill training.
I have worked with many adults over the years who haven’t sought an official diagnosis because they knew that their executive function skills were lacking development for various reasons, and they knew they could do something about that without waiting for a diagnosis...
Full Episode Transcript
You Don’t Need a Diagnosis or Medication to Get Results - 116
Hi Aspiring Achievers,
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what is commonly believed to be the process we adults need to go through if we suspect ADHD. That process takes time and money. And depending on what part of the world you live in, your access to a specialist may be limited. For that reason or others, many adults are self-diagnosing these days. Some are questioning what having an official diagnosis will give them that a self-diagnosis won’t.
The answer to that question is simple – potentially a lot of valuable information beyond just ADHD since by the time you are an adult, ADHD typically doesn’t occur by itself. There could be depression, anxiety, codependency, addictions, learning differences or challenges, Irlen syndrome, underdeveloped executive function skills, sensory challenges and more. Medication may be appropriate for some of these additional conditions as well as for ADHD if the main ADHD challenges are inattention, hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. If the main challenges are executive function skill challenges due to underdevelopment, I haven’t seen medication alone be the answer without EF skill training.
I have worked with many adults over the years who haven’t sought an official diagnosis because they knew that their executive function skills were lacking development for various reasons, and they knew they could do something about that without waiting for a diagnosis.
Everyone’s situation is different. Some have gone through my program and never gotten a diagnosis, yet developed their EF skills and are successfully getting stuff done without the stress and overwhelm they came into the program with. Others have sought a diagnosis at some point during their time in the program because they wanted to see if medication would make any difference for them in conjunction with their EF skill training. Some did a trial of medication and decided that they were getting more benefit from developing their EF skills than from the meds. Others found that the medication helped their focus while the EF skill training helped everything else. Again, no two people are the same.
What does it take to successfully live an adult life in today’s society? Definitely a lot of skills that we didn’t need to have in earlier times. As the world becomes more and more tech-oriented, and we have more and more to do on a daily basis to just keep up with our lives, the ability to plan, schedule, prioritize, organize our thoughts, be on time and manage ourselves in time, and make good decisions more easily, are becoming necessities.
Did you get offered classes in these skills in grades kindergarten through graduating high school? And, what about in college? Were these skills offered as electives or requirements for your educational major?
Those skills are typically the skills that my students are anxious to develop because they believe those are the skills they are lacking. And while this is true, they all come to know that they are lacking many other skills that are holding them back from the quality of life they deserve.
One area that often comes up is codependency. Most of my students only hear about this when they start working with me. They aren’t aware of this condition, which is a very complex condition, and a natural coping strategy for those who go undiagnosed until later in life or develop codependency patterns and characteristics for other reasons.
Codependency is an absence of a healthy relationship with yourself where you sacrifice yourself and your needs for the needs of others. Often there will be people pleasing, saying yes when you really want to say no, and even becoming addicted to misery. Symptoms can include an unhealthy dependence on relationships to avoid a feeling of abandonment, an extreme need for approval and recognition. And, a sense of guilt or shame when asserting themselves. As one might expect, you may also see advice offered even when it isn’t asked for, poor communication regarding feelings, wants or needs, expecting others to do as you say, difficulty making decisions, chronic anger, feeling used and underappreciated, and even feeling responsible for solving others’ problems.
To heal your codependency, you will need to establish boundaries (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual), take responsibility for your health and happiness, get to know yourself, and learn to love yourself.
Helping you to change your life excites me. And because I believe that no one should be left behind and not receive the help they need or want, I have created many ways for you to benefit from how I can serve you.
You can listen to my podcast episodes for free, and gain a lot of value IF you take action on what I suggest for you to do. If you just listen and think to yourself “those are great ideas and I should try them” and never do, well the lack of results will speak for themselves. One of the best ways that we adults can learn is through experiencing new strategies, and especially if we engage playfully.
You can grab any of my free resources on topics from living clutter-free to time management tips to assessing the development of your Executive Function skills. And again, you will gain a lot of value IF you actually read the PDF, you request, AND apply the suggestions and strategies and adjust as needed for yourself. Otherwise, you are just in love with the idea of improving your life but not taking the steps to do so.
You can grab the free roadmap for The Transformation Club and see the topics we are covering for the first 9 months, and the 3 main categories I will continue to offer monthly trainings in – Mind, Emotions, and Behaviors. There’s also a free training video along with your free roadmap. And, if you decide to join us, you can do so for less than $1 a day. And, even if you join now and sit on the replays of the live trainings and live Q & A sessions and private podcast episodes for a month or two because you say you are too busy to engage right now, the gems will be there waiting for you, as will the community. Because you and I know that if you say you will do this later, the good old out of sight, out of mind will grab you and you may miss out entirely.
Like I said, I am determined that no one is left behind that wants help. So, take action today by getting your TTC resources and don’t let yourself be left behind by not getting the help that is waiting for you for less than $1 a day. You do need the ability to register for the monthly live events, if you can attend live, or be willing to give about 2 ½ hours a month to your personal development, IF you listen to the replays of the training and Q & A, as well as listen to the monthly private podcast. That’s a little over 30 minutes a week and not even the 15 minutes a day that I know you have if you look. We all have 15 minutes a day to give to achieving a better life for ourselves.
You can grab the free roadmap for the GSD program, formerly known as AIA-FS or the ADDventures In Achievement Foundational Skills program. The GSD program or Get Sh*t Done program is exactly that. And if I were to summarize what you all tell me if you’ve put your name on the Information List about this program, is that you need to Get Sh*t Done and aren’t. Bottom line.
We are revising the page with all the information about this program, and for now, you can grab the free roadmap while the free training and other information is being updated. The GSD program is a high-touch, comprehensive curriculum, with lots of scaffolding support for those of you would need more guidance, accountability and help staying on top of your progress in the program. Even within the space of the GSD program, no one gets left behind. There are text and email reminders as well as encouragement from me and your program peers. Everyone benefits by the engagement with the program. You don’t have to create a schedule or structure for yourself; I do that for you. You don’t have to remember what to study or when to register for calls; I send you text reminders. I don’t assume that you can do things when you enter the program that most of my students can’t do, so I provide the scaffolding you need to succeed as you develop the skills you are missing.
If you’ve been suffering, feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed for years by trying to decide what to do to help yourself, let me lift that burden off your shoulders and tell you that the GSD program has what you need to stop your suffering, release your feelings of overwhelm and remove your paralysis so you can start making progress towards the life you want to live and GSD.
For those of you who live in the UK (England, Scotland and Wales residents) there is the Access to Work Grant available for you to apply for. They have covered the investment in the program for several students already and I trust they will for you too, if you get your application in to them. It does take a number of months, so best to apply right away if you live in the UK. You will find information about this Grant on my website under Grant Assistance. There is also assistance from other organizations for those of you who reside in Australia and New Zealand.
So, as you can hear, there are many options for you to get the help you need. It’s just a matter of which one’s interest you and/or you qualify for based on where you live.
When I look at people, I see two aspects: the human being, Golden Buddha or essence and the human doing or your stuff. You are not your stuff or what you do or don’t do. You are a precious child of the universe; and are called a “human being” not a “human doing” for good reason. You don’t have to earn your value; you were born with it. Your value comes from “who” you are “being”; not what you are doing, which means that you can wake up every day with your value 100% and that’s pretty awesome. It’s a great win. And, if you need a space to feel the importance of this fact, consider working with me in some capacity, if it’s your time.
Speaking of wins, what’s it going to be for you today? You got your marketing done and have your meals planned for the week; that’s fantastic! You made your bed and actually enjoyed the experience; that’s awesome! You have been decluttering your bedroom so you can sleep more restfully; that’s wonderful! Congratulations on all of your wins – big and small. Remember to look for wins every day and celebrate them. Since what you focus on grows – focus on wins and create a winning life for yourself.
How much time do we have? Not much. So, let’s get to it.
You may have heard of your conscious and subconscious minds. If not, your conscious mind is about 5% of your mental activity and is responsible for your thinking, logic, reasoning, and will power. Your subconscious mind is about 95% of your mental activity and is responsible for identifying and associating to previous experiences, positive or negative, that are stored in your subconscious mind. Think of this as a space that takes a snapshot or movie of everything you have experienced in your lifetime, and has it stored and ready to activate to keep you safe, so you survive. It doesn’t think about whether or not what it activates is good for you or not; just whether or not it is important for your safety and survival. There’s a lot of information stored in your subconscious mind and depending on the quality and development of your EF skills, and the perspective and meanings you have made over your lifetime of your various experiences, this is what will get activated and impact your life in the now.
I bring this up because we need our well-developed EF skills in the conscious mind when we are first experiencing life events and deciding on their meaning and based on our perspective of them. We need them because the information in your conscious mind will be stored in your subconscious mind for future reference and activation. You want what’s stored to be accurate and for your highest good. And if it’s not, you want to have the ability to clean house and make it so.
Your beliefs may seem to be automatic. And you may treat them as facts when they are only beliefs. In reality, you are not born with your beliefs; you acquire them. They are acquired from the world around you and what you hear, see and feel about your world. They are also acquired as a result of specific experiences you have while growing up and what you are told about yourself. What you come to believe isn’t a fact; it’s a belief. Beliefs have exceptions to them and facts don’t – until perhaps new information is learned about a fact that then disproves it and replaces it with a new fact. But mostly, a fact is a fact. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. This is a fact and most likely won’t be replaced with a new fact. This is a fact with regard to the sun.
How do you know what you believe? You can ask yourself questions. What do you believe about how you look? What do you believe about your ability to change? What do you believe about ADHD? Some of your beliefs will be easily accessible because they live in your conscious mind. The rest of your beliefs live in your subconscious mind and you will learn about them when situations arise and you react based on your subconscious beliefs. When that happens, you’ll have the opportunity to challenge your automatic beliefs and determine if you want to keep them or release them and replace them with a more appropriate belief.
Be sure to stand guard at the doorway to your mind and keep only those beliefs that are for your highest good and release the rest. I say this because even if you fully develop your EF skills, your beliefs can derail you and keep you from benefiting from your well-developed skills. This is why I address limiting beliefs and outdated identities as well as EF skills because I want to ensure that you don’t get derailed along the way.
I’ve got your back, if you’ll let me. If you are hurting and want help now, be sure to check out the links in the show notes for how I can help you – from free to fee. Please don’t let your gifts die inside of you because you don’t yet have the skills to express them. You matter. We all matter. And if not now, then when? I used to put things off and wait for a better time, and not anymore. None of us knows how much time we have left, and it has nothing to do with our age. Our days are numbered and get spent whether we spend them on a quality life or not.
If you want an intentional life, you need to be intentional about what you bring into your life. Be 100% responsible for the life you create for yourself. Even if you have challenges in your life, there are solutions, and you can increase the quality of your life tremendously, especially if you release your limiting beliefs and develop your EF skills.
There are two important currencies in life – time and money. I’ve learned over the course of my lifetime that time is our most precious currency and asset. It is not something we can ever get back. Each day is spent, and another day comes for most of us, but we can never get the days back that were spent poorly or in struggles. We can never get back those experiences or opportunities that we have missed, because they are gone. They might surface again; or they might not. This is a huge price to pay for indecision or hesitation or a wrong decision. Our other currency, money, comes and goes; we can get more of it. Not true with time.
So, will you spend your most precious asset, time, and get some help for yourself today? I hope so.
A Favorite Quote: Bianca Sparacino said, “When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way, you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential.”
I love this quote. Please don’t cheat yourself or the world.
Think about it, if you are willing to invest just a few minutes a day, every day, you will build the habit of consistency and change your life. You will come to trust yourself, and that’s huge. You will come to love yourself, and that’s essential and invaluable. The choices are yours and I hope you choose for your highest good.
If you’re loving the podcast, you can get even more support by checking out the links in the show notes for free resources and transformative opportunities that are waiting for you.
· GSD or “Get Sh*t Done”, Because Your Life Won’t Wait Forever Executive Function Skills Training & Coaching Program Information: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/AIA
· Free PDF - 13 Signs Weak Executive Functioning Is Holding You Back: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/Executive-Function
· The Transformation Club – the affordable community for EF training: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/ttcprogram
· An assortment of Free Resources, depending on your needs: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/free-resources
· Grant assistance page: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/financial-assistance
Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts If you found value in this episode, please leave me a review on Apple Podcasts! Our mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives, and when you leave a positive review, more people can find this podcast! Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and tell me what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!
Personal transformation is waiting for you, if it’s your time. There are real solutions to the challenges you are experiencing, and they are available now. Time is our most precious asset, and none of us have time to waste on solutions that don’t work. I would love to help you realize a new freedom, that is…if that’s of interest to you. Thanks for listening… Until the next time… Bye for now… .
If you’re loving the podcast, you can get even more support by checking out the links in the show notes for free resources and transformative opportunities that are waiting for you.
- GSD or “Get Sh*t Done”, Because Your Life Won’t Wait Forever Executive Function Skills Training & Coaching Program Information: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/AIA
- Free PDF - 13 Signs Weak Executive Functioning Is Holding You Back: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/Executive-Function
- The Transformation Club – the affordable community for EF training:
https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/ttcprogram - An assortment of Free Resources, depending on your needs:
https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/free-resources - Grant assistance page:
https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/financial-assistance
Subscribe & Review in Apple Podcasts
If you found value in this episode, please leave me a review on Apple Podcasts! Our mission is to help as many people as possible transform their lives, and when you leave a positive review, more people can find this podcast! Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and tell me what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!
Personal transformation is waiting for you, if it’s your time. There are real solutions to the challenges you are experiencing, and they are available now. Time is our most precious asset, and none of us have time to waste on solutions that don’t work. I would love to help you realize a new freedom, that is…if that’s of interest to you. Thanks for listening… Until the next time… Bye for now…
